I Don't Want To Go Back To NYC

I've been here in Florida for two weeks now. Before that, I was here a week. My flight is scheduled for tomorrow evening. I'm dreading going back. 

The biggest reason is that all of my family and friends are here. I miss not attending family functions and eating all of that delicious food. When my family gets together, we gave fun. Everyone is a comedian. I love it! Sometimes, they get together just because. And I miss out because I'm in NYC. 

My friends are here. I miss having house parties, dinners, or game nights at my apartment. I also miss being able to not monitor how much alcohol I consume because I'm in the comfort of my own home with my friends. (Now, I'm no lush.) 

I also miss monthly massages and dinners with my line sisters. I miss talking to them every other day. Ugh. 

Because I've been around my family and friends for the last few weeks, I've come to realize how much I miss them. Therefore, I don't want to go back to NYC. People are rude there. They're con artists. They're fast talkers. (Can I tell you that I can't stand people fast talking me?)   

Don't get me wrong, there are parts of NYC that I like a lot. There's always something going on. There's all types of people there from all types of places. Very diverse. Right now my career is moving in the right direction. It's going to take me places. I'm excited about that. 

NYC is not home. However, it is my temporary home until I get to that next step in my life. 

God Puts People in Your Life

Let me tell you about this conversation I had today. I was at a school visiting teachers within our research project. The principal busts in and asks who am I and where am I from. To be honest, she intimidated me a bit. I know right; how can this small-framed Venezuelan woman intimidate this big, black woman?! Well, she had a presence about herself. Confidence. I liked it. Anyway, she asked to see me once I was finished with the teachers.

As the teachers finished, I began to think to myself, "Hmmm....how can I get out of this? Who am I to sit down with this principal, leader of an entire school, about the research project?" I didn't trust myself to hold a simple conversation. I asked the receptionist if she could find out if the principal wanted to meet with me then or if she wanted me to come back later in the week; I was hoping for the latter. Fortunately, that was not the case. Out comes the principal's secretary to take me back to the principal's office.

So, we begin to talk about the project and how much she loves it. Thing is, I felt so important. This woman sees me as an equal. She's picking my brain, trying to know what I know. It felt so good. The conversation continued on to her passion in life and the experiences she had growing up that led her to where she is right now and what keeps her going. We then talked about both our home lives-where we're from and what we had in common. We were chatting like old girlfriends, seriously.

She inspired me through her story, and I told her so. She asked how, so I told her what I want to do with my life and how it was shaped thru the experiences that I've lived thru. She listened intently and gave her two cents on the matter. She respected what I want to do and the changes I want to make in the world.

We ended with her asking that we keep in touch, letting me know when she'll be in NYC and wanting to hookup. Look at the connection that was made thru happenstance! Made. My. Day. 

The Status of Black Males (and Females)

http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/BlackMale

The Congressional Caucus on Black Men and Boys held its first hearing, titled “The Status of Black Males: Ensuring Our Boys Mature Into Strong Men.” Much of the hearing focused on the achievement gap of black males, racial profiling, and the justice system. Among the witnesses was Tracy Martin, the father of Trayvon Martin who in February 2012 was fatally shot while walking through a Sanford, Florida, gated community. Neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman was acquitted of the crime in July 2013. Mr. Martin in his testimony said, “We will not let the verdict sum up who Trayvon was.” 

I watched this video by chance on a Saturday afternoon. I usually pass right on by C-SPAN because it is just so boring. #truestory But not this time. I was mesmerized. There was a hearing in progress on the status of black males. I wanted to watch as I wanted to see how we could turn the very sad Trayvon Martin story into a positive for my people, especially our young men.

After the George Zimmerman verdict came outrage. The most prominent place for display of that outrage was Facebook. However, the question remained. What are you going to do with that outrage? Quite a few let it turn into apathy. After a week, it was not a talking point for some anymore; it was back to everyday living. Facebook posts returned to being about what people were doing, wearing, and eating.

Well, we didn't need it to be a talking point anyway; we needed it to be a point of action. So, stumbling upon this hearing excited me, especially seeing Trayvon Martin's father, Tracy, on the panel of black men addressing this issue. What excited me the most was David Johns, Executive Director for the White House Initiatives on Educational Excellence for African Americans. He had three ways in which to work with the Caucus in conjunction with the White House Initiatives to advance the status of black males in America. They were:

1. Invest in early education - Why remediate our students later when we can start early and invest in their learning in the beginning and make sure they're on solid ground? Yes!
2. Recruiting and better preparing educators, especially more African American educators - Make sure that all adults that are put forth in front of children see them as young people treat them as such and UNDERSTANDS HOW TO PUT IN THE WORK TO MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE. That means giving them love and support and setting HIGH EXPECTATIONS to help them in achieving their dreams. Invaluable.
3. Focus on fatherhood - Talk about it. Create and provide opportunities for men to be active in their children's' lives. We need to have these conversations and put in the work to make it happen. 

His words inspired me. Seriously. WE--community, parents, teachers, law enforcement, etc.--must WORK to improve status of not only our black males, but our black females as well.

I now see my path in life, and it became real once I watched this hearing. Since my first year of teaching, I've known that I've wanted to help our young people; my perspective is different as I am focused on our young ladies. (I obtained my MSW degree because I wanted to specialize in helping children and adolescents.)  If we can combat the low self-esteem our girls carry around with them, they can be successful in this world because they value themselves. This panel of men made me realize that there is a need and there are solutions. I can help provide some of those solutions. I need to start dreaming about it and make it a reality.

Know who you are.....

This is tough. First, you have to know who you are. That's a process in itself to find out who that is. It takes people time to figure out their inner being. It starts at the time in which your memory begins and keeps going through the rest of your life. It doesn't end. That inner being keeps changing.....no, adapting. At least mine does. But for the most part, she's who she's gonna be - a generous, timid yet strong, intelligent, observant, God fearing young woman. I have my faults as well.

What's even harder than knowing who you are is knowing it's enough or accepting who you are. I think that's why we have so many issues in the world, high teen pregnancy rate being one of them. Low self-esteem is a bitch and affects us all. It makes us accept less than we deserve, settle. Knowing it's enough is difficult.   

When I saw the above image, it reminded me of a Macklemore song, Same Love, that I've heard on the radio multiple times over the past week. I appreciate the message of the song. However, there are a couple of lyrics that always cause me to pause:

"...A world so hateful
Some would rather die
Than be who they are..."

How true?!

So what's the solution? Spread LOVE. Stop throwing stones when you, yourself, are living in a glass shack. Encourage someone. Stop being so selfish. It's easy to do.

L.R.

Today, I found out that one of my former students is pregnant. She is only in the 8th grade. That is, if she was promoted. I say that because she always missed school, which I believe is due in part to the fact that she was a struggling reader and felt out of place. In fact, she's already been retained one grade level before.

Let me tell you a little bit about her. First of all, she's gorgeous, eye-catchingly beautiful. She's a very shy girl, but at the same time, she's headstrong; she knows what she will and will not tolerate. I liked that about her. She has 5 siblings .Actually, I taught her older brother. They were very similar in looks and personality, but he was much more studious than she was. She missed a lot of school and, in my opinion, had a lenient parent.

So she's pregnant. My thoughts? What?! Why?! HOW?! I know how, but how in the world does this child end up pregnant? Why in the hell is she pregnant? She can't take care of a kid. She can't even take care of herself. I'm not sure if she even had goals/aspirations in life. She was just existing. Why is she bringing life into this world?

It's just sad that that little girl (I guess that is how I will always see her) is bringing life into this world, and she probably doesn't even understand the feat she's about to undertake. She's not ready. Hell, she's not ready to have sex. Really, what does she know about sex other than to just lay there? My heart breaks for her and her unborn little one.

Is her life over? No. However, she already has a few strikes against her - she doesn't read on grade level, she's been retained before, she's living in poverty. That's not the best situation to bring a child into.

The Look (Remix)

Meet StylePantry. I have no idea who she/them are, but I do know that the fashion and style that comes from that brand is B-A-N-A-N-A-S! You get every kind of look that there is: comfy, chic, trendy, laid back, etc. I follow the brand via Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Yes, I'm obsessed. 

Did you know that I'm a proud member of the best sorority on earth? That is Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. Our colors are royal blue and white. Well, on a recent Friday evening we were having an event and asked to dress in business casual attire. I was faced with a fashion dilemma. Because NYC experiences a heat wave every summer, I knew that I wasn't wearing pants. So I thought, could I make shorts, jean shorts at that, business casual? StylePantry to the rescue. I remembered seeing the above look and started gathering my pieces. Because royal blue is a staple for my sorors and I, I happen to have two royal blue blazers. The one I wore was from Amazon.com. I believe it cost around $20. I had just bought two pairs of jean shorts from Ross while visiting Florida ($15 each). The shirt was from Burlington; I forgot the price. StylePantry is wearing heels, and those shoes are not conducive to walking the streets of NYC. So, I paired my look with a pair of brown sandals from JCP along with brown wooden jewelry. That completed my look. Take a look below. 

How'd I do? 

Everyone in my circle loved the look by the way. :-)