I am NOT Mary Jane!

My ex-boyfriend recently told me that when he went to college, an HBCU, the males were told that there were 17 females on campus for every 1 male. They were basically told to have their cake and eat it, too. And before you ask, yes, he ate his cake as well. One man was with two or three women was okay. That's what I see reflected in everyday life.

 

BET recently started a campaign geared around it's new hit show, "Being Mary Jane." Viewers are asked to send in videos where they state that they are Mary Jane and why. I've seen some say, "I am Mary Jane because my love life is complicated" and others say, "I am Mary Jane because I like sex." If you didn't know, Mary Jane is a successful newscaster and breadwinner of her family but loves a man whom she recently found out to be married. When she found out, she went through the common stages of grief: anger, hurt and so on. I am led to believe that she is living in the stage of acceptance. She's still with the married man. So now I must answer the question, why am I Mary Jane?

Well, I am NOT Mary Jane. Why? I don't like to share. I want my own man. My life is successful in all other areas, and I have the same expectations in my love life. I don't mind being by myself. Of course, I'd rather enjoy the finer things in life with a partner, but I value myself too much to be considered someone's side piece or play second fiddle to anyone when I know I deserve the best as well as my own. I love me and no one, no man for that matter, will diminish the love that I have for myself by making me share.

Don't get me wrong, I have been Mary Jane before. I have been the side chick, or mistress, depending upon which world you live in. When I was younger, all I wanted was love, love from a man. When I thought that I had found this love with a man who just so happened to have come packaged with a wife, I accepted him and his wife. Why? Because some time was better than no time, right? Because having a piece of his heart was better than not having anything, right? Because getting a "Good morning" text was better than not, right? Wrong. 

As I gotten older, I've come to realize that I deserve better. I have something to offer to someone that's not only valuable, but also one of a kind. And I deserve the same thing. Someone to offer me something that belongs only to me and no one else. I don't have to share because I wouldn't piece out my own love to more than one person. I'm better than that and I deserve better than that, simply put. 

Mary Jane can keep her part-time lover. She can continue to exchange digs with the wife. She can continue living a frustrated, secretive, addictive lifestyle. I choose better. I choose the best that life can give me. I am NOT Mary Jane.